hello :)

currently (attempting to watch) a lot like love.. cute movie.. but anywhoo..

not much has really happened.. just the usual: school, dance, kiddos.. unfortunately there isn't much to write in here ;P.. sorry for those of you who like to be updated, i guess i'm just a dull person.. [right, jose?] hehe jP..

but i guess here's a little something to think about..i'll be graduating pretty soon.. it's kind of exciting and scary at the same time.. up until our senior year in highschool, we're used to all these structured schedules and classes.  we're always told what classes we need in order to graduate and such, and a quick talk with a counselor usually solves the problem.. in a couple months, i'll be scheduling my own classes to my own time preferances-- and yea, it does sound kinda fun, except there are so many choices you have to make on your own that eventually lead into a new independent lifestyle you have to create for yourself.. and what if in the middle of things, you decide what you wanted before, isn't what you want now?  *ho hum*.. isn't life grand? [a somewhat sarcastic rhetorical question]

till next time my fellow xanga-ers ;)

..day 1.. the hiatus begins..

heh, sounds somewhat dramatic.. ;P

so after another long period of not blogging...

not a whole lot has happened really.. the holidays are around the corner, which is pretty exciting, but at the same time stressful..yenno, trying to find the perfect gift and all ;P.. AND battling the crowds at the malls.. oh baby ;P.. and as always, i'm still waiting around for winter break...i need a kool two weeks off to get myself together.. unfortunately i still have projects due next week right before the break.. oh how teachers like to toture us.. ;P.. but anywhoo.. life in general..nothing too special..but--

all you ever need to know, you learned in kindergarten... i hope

1: don't chew food with your mouth open

2: always say "please" and "thank you"

3: pick up your litter.. or just dont litter at all

4: wash your hands before you eat

5: if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say it

.. i'm gonna have to stress that last "social rule of thumb" there.. sure, not everyone is going to see things the same way you do, but you have to be respectful and considerate of other people's feelings as well.. but of course you're entitled to your own opinion, but by constantly being over-opinionated, you're only making it harder for people to confide in you/ open up to you / share their daily happs with.. you could say "it doesn't matter what other people think of you..".. but it's hard to keep that "whatever" mentality if you're constantly getting shot down or being reasoned out.. yeah, i guess it doesn't matter what other people may think of you, but that feeling of being shotdown still hurts.. it's impossible to express your opinion if the argument just goes in circles and for some reason you can't get past the other person's inability to accept another answer.. maybe i'm just not the type of person that lets people have the satisfaction of thinking everything they say is right.. it just looks like ignorance .. open your eyes a little.. you're not the only person on this planet and we don't all think alike either.. unfortunately not too many people understand concept of diversity.. the truth is, we're all ignorant hypocrites one way or another..

but on a lighter note.. i'm off to bed kids.. ciao ciao now ;)

..alritey kiddos..

it's been a little while since i've "blogged," but nothing that interesting ever really happens to me.. heh, so no one's missing out ;).. jP Jk.. anywhoo, on the topic of life in general: i guess i've learned a lot since..well i dont know when, but i've learned a lot these past few weeks.. well not "learned," but more like "discovered" facts .. things that were bound to happen sometime.. i must say, there was a splash of "overwhelmed" each time a new fact hit me.. i guess all i can really say without going into detail [which i prefer not to do anyway] is that we're growing up.. this may sound corny, but taking a little stroll down memory lane, it seems like just a couple months ago we were just having fun and worrying about what mattered now.. and silly jokes were just jokes.. [do keep in mind that i'm not referring to myself here.. just in general] .. now we're all busy worrying about our future and which paths will lead us here and there, and those jokes become reality.. *sigh* and while we're on this subject of futures and what not, school has been kinda bummer too.. with college apps. and such, but just do it i guess.. i'm not really sure why i'm even trying to apply to all these schools when i just see myself going to CSULB.. i really wouldn't mind going there.. i think i'd feel a little more comfortable there anyway.. but we'll just have to see what happens when that day comes..

but overall, things have been lookin' pretty a-okae .. i mean, i have my shares of ups and downs, but it's all  part of this vicious cycle.. it looks like optimism is the only way to go sometimes when reality gets you down.. yea, that may have sounded kind of stupid.. but you've gotta find your motiviation somewhere instead of sitting around and letting every bad situation get the upper hand on you..

but it looks like i'm running out of things i'd like to share in my xanga right bout now [not that anyone really reads this often anyway, but thank you to those who do! ;)].. so until next time.......aloha ;)

the older i get, the more apparent it is everyday

-- the briefs

speaking of which, i'm going to their concert this wednesday... pretty exciting, i know that school is going to be on my mind [as it always is, unfortunately] .. and to make my week even more exciting, i'm going to disneyland on monday!.. well, i'm actually doing a show there.. i hate afterschool shows, i feel so rushed and all over the place [maybe cuz it is rushed and i have to run all over the place].. anywhoo.  i'm hoping this upcoming week wont be a repeat of this week.. ;P.. well i managed to stay on top of things.. hw especially, but it usually means staying up a little later than usual.. ;P oh well.

so it's senior year, and my last 3 years in high school were nothing special, and i have a feeling this year isn't going to be anybetter by the looks of it.. i've been kind of "left out".. and it's a sad feeling..it's also embarrassing, because there you are, putting up with it, while everyone watches your discomfort in a place that should be "your own"..  but at the same time i don't really care.. i've become bitter and built up a "fuck you" attitude.. which, in this harsh world, is what you need every now and then.. you can't be the nice guy forever.. cuz there's stupid people out there who abuse that kind of niceness and don't even give any acknowledgement to a small kind deed.. the other day i heard a boy in my class say "thank you" for the first time this year.. yea, i know it's a weird thing to notice..but he constantly asks other people for small favors, and never says anything back.. i'm not even sure where i was going with that, but it just really amazed me.. heheeh.

anywhoo, i'm just not diggin' this "high school life".. [excluding the academics part.. school is already hard, i dont need to go to college and challenge myself even more ;P].. i've lost enthusiasm for things that should be fun.. i'm not looking forward to "sweethearts" or "prom" [it'll save me a couple hundred..hah jP].. i guess i should go to those events, cuz it's the "right thing" to do.. but what is prom really? it's a formal occassion where people dress up all nice and dance the night away with their friends..i wish i could just say "eFF you" and have fun for myself, but these types of occassions are no fun if you've only really got one friend.. or maybe by excluding myself from anything social, i'll get rid of the "left out" feeling.. aHh whatever.. i'll figure these things out when the time comes.. i hope everybody enjoys the rest of their evenings ;)

goodnight moon